


Ghost with the Most

by TRASHCAKE



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Age gap if you think about it too hard, Alternate Universe - Beetlejuice (1988) Fusion, Beetlejuice Minho, Beetlejuice References, Chan and Felix are oblivious, Knowledge of Source Material Not Required, M/M, No one asked for Lydia!Jeongin but it's okay because I'm giving it to you anyway, Physically they're a few years apart because theyre dead, but minho has been dead longer, does it count as character death if they're already dead?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:06:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27020200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TRASHCAKE/pseuds/TRASHCAKE
Summary: Ghosts normally want to haunt and torment their human counterparts. Jisung just wants his to finally get together. Their obliviousness both to their feelings and to Jisung's presence has him desperate for help. Enter: Lee Minho, Bio-Exorcist, er, Bio-Matchmaker. No job too big, nor too small.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Comments: 24
Kudos: 222





	Ghost with the Most

**Author's Note:**

> I made a fucking joke about calling minho into a room with "I know you know we know lee know" like beetlejuice and it was so dumb i had to write a fic about it. Somehow it became cute. I also made bio-exorcist a real job that people other than Beetlejuice have with the same kinda rules, but apart from that, I've kept the whole thing pretty in line with the movie. 
> 
> Happy spooky season!

Jisung is dead.

It turns out that falling down the stairs _doesn’t_ result in the development of superpowers, it results in the development of death. Jisung will spend the rest of his afterlife ashamed at how long it takes him to figure out that he’s passed on— three very confusing days spent trying to contact people and go to work, all with an exceptional amount of issues. 

It’s a rather shocking revelation that should not be as shocking as it is. He tumbles down three flights of stairs and wakes up being able to walk through walls. He’s dead, and not only that, he’s a ghost, too. 

He watches in melancholy as his mourning parents remove his things. He watches in annoyance as his landlord tries to rent out his apartment mere minutes after they leave.

Jisung figures out he has more powers than just walking through walls, when he spooks every potential tenant out of his house, because as far as he’s concerned, he still lives there. The place is empty, but it’s still his home. He really, really doesn’t want to share it with anyone else.

He gets exceptionally good at the whole haunting thing, going so far as scaring his old landlord to the point that he will no longer enter the property with any potential tenant. That makes Jisung snicker, because he was an asshole of a landlord who thinks that someone dying on premises is enough of a reason not to return a security deposit.

As far as he’s concerned, the old man deserves it. 

Jisung snickers from his space on the ceiling as he waits by the door, two new spook victims walking unknowingly into his abode. One spends the entire inspection sipping away at a protein shake and the other tests every room for good selfie lighting before picking a spot, snapping away and posting it to Instagram. 

Unfiltered. Because he’s just that annoyingly attractive like that. 

Jisung slides across the ceiling and down the wall, phasing his face through the surface that Selfie Boy is standing against, reading his captions over his shoulder and scoffing. _House hunting with the bestie~_ , it says. Jisung screams right into his ear. 

Selfie Boy does not respond. 

Not even a flinch. 

“There’s a gym on the top floor,” says Protein Boy. As if to cement his stereotype, he takes a sip of his foul looking drink as a point of emphasis. “I like it here.” 

“I love it,” Selfie Boy smiles. He points to the balcony that Jisung’s washing used to live on, getting sun bleached because he’s too lazy to take it back inside. “I was figuring we could get some plants or something?” 

“Sounds perfect,” says Protein Boy. He looks at Selfie Boy like he’s just given a moving, life changing speech, not vaguely mentioned plans for a garden. “Should we apply?” 

Selfie Boy nods, Jisung screams again. He slams doors and rustles curtains, even pushes the two potential tenants as he runs around the empty living room, attempting to make as much noise and commotion as possible. 

The two living humans barely react. They stand there smiling at each other like there’s nothing else in the world but the two of them. They giggle at each other as Jisung pushes them, the action moving them closer together. 

Not only are they taking Jisung’s house, they’re going to be disgustingly in love as they do it. He will not have happiness in his eternal resting place of sorrow and anguish, thank you very much.

No matter what Jisung throws at them, they don’t react, they don’t even seem to notice. It’s terrible. 

Jisung is the world’s worst ghost. 

Their names are Chan and Felix, and they very quickly become Jisung’s new, unwanted roommates. The landlord is so desperate to rent Jisung’s old, very haunted house that he offers them the contract on the spot. 

They take it. 

Jisung kicks his landlord right in the shin. 

To his credit, the old man smiles through the pain, wincing as Felix and Chan blissfully ignore Jisung and everything about him. 

“Behave, you demon,” the landlord hisses. 

Jisung kicks his other shin in reply.

\-------

Now, Jisung doesn’t immediately warm to Chan and Felix. He’s still in his prepubescent ghost phase of hating humans as a whole and despising anyone who walks through his door. The manual for ghosts that he received upon dying and only found once he figured he was dead, tells him as such. 

The whole thing is a heavy and uninteresting read, but Jisung is bored and figures he’ll spend the rest of eternity spooking people and learning to recite the whole Book for the Recently Deceased backwards. 

That is, of course, until he realises that Chan and Felix are so much more interesting than a ghost manual. 

He starts off trying to spook the two of them, until their frustrating obliviousness becomes boring. So, he starts to snoop on them, hanging out in the Jisung-shaped spot on the couch that they leave for him as they watch TV. 

Like everyone else their age, they’re tapping away at their phones while shows serve as noise in the background. Jisung sits with his arms wrapped around the two of them, using his ghost powers to grow an extra head, just so he can look at their phones at the same time. 

Felix complains to his friend Hyunjin that he’s cold, an unfortunate side effect of Jisung’s presence, and that he wants to steal Chan’s hoodie. Hyunjin informs Felix that he should steal a kiss while he’s at it. 

Meanwhile, Chan sends SOS messages to his friend Changbin, who Jisung has noticed through context clues and extensive snooping, is Hyunjin’s housemate. 

_hes so damn cute_

Chan punctuates his sentence with several crying emojis. Changbin tells him to confess, Chan shoots the idea down. 

“Just do it,” Jisung says, hoping that Chan will hear him and take it as a sign from above, or something. “He’s in love with you, he’s literally just told Hyunjin that he’s in love with you.” 

With a pop, Jisung’s two heads form back into one, and he rests his lone face in his hands. “Why are you two so fucking _dense_?” 

Life among the living isn’t the kind of torture told within the Handbook, but it’s still torture. Jisung’s unknowing housemates are infuriating, especially because Jisung’s sole form of entertainment comes from watching them be idiots. 

Yes, he has made his own Netflix account to surf through while the two of them are at work, but nothing is as enthralling nor as dramatic as watching Felix and Chan dance around the fact that they’re very in love. 

Script writers should take some notes. 

Jisung wonders how their friends truly feel. If he, an outsider, is frustrated after a month, he wonders how they’re feeling after years. 

And it has been years, if Hyunjin’s constant reminders have anything to say for it. He seems far more understanding than Jisung about it all, judging by the sweet messages he sends to a desperately pining Felix. 

It’s all rather pathetic. 

Jisung gives up on his plans to haunt their asses, and decides to be the ghostly push they need, instead. 

\------ 

Felix and Chan have a small, close knit group of friends, which, after their time living together, Jisung considers himself a part of. An unknowing participant in all the fun. So, when they finally decide to come over for a late housewarming party, Jisung is excited to (sort of) meet them. 

Hyunjin and Changbin saunter in looking exactly like the pictures Felix has of them. Hyunjin makes himself right at home, which, rude, he could have asked Jisung first. But that’s okay, he just assumes that Chan and Felix’s friends are just like them: completely unaware of ghosts. 

Maybe they’ve stuck together due to pure obliviousness or something. 

Jisung’s theory is proven wrong when Jeongin walks through the door. He pauses, looks around, before declaring something off about the vibes of the apartment. 

“Rude,” Jisung hisses. He phases through the wall of the kitchen, arms crossed in offence. “My vibes are immaculate, thank you very much.” 

Jeongin, much to Jisung’s horror, looks him straight in the eye. “If you say so,” he says, before wandering after the others into the lounge. 

Jisung shrieks in shock, one of the anime prints that Felix has stuck to the kitchen cabinets falls off. Jeongin has the audacity to turn around and _wink_. 

Scuttling into the lounge, Jisung watches in abject horror as Jeongin leaves a Jisung-sized space for him next to him on the couch, discreetly patting the seat. Taking the cue, Jisung plops himself down with a groan. 

“When I say I’m going to the bathroom, follow me,” Jeongin hisses, quiet enough that only Jisung can hear. 

“Gross, dude, I don’t wanna see you pee,” Jisung recoils. He’s been dead for months and _this_ is the first conversation he’s having. 

“It’s so we can talk, dumbass,” Jeongin looks as appropriately disgusted as Jisung feels. “But that answers one of my questions.” 

“What, you wanted to know if I’m watching your friends shower?” Jisung pulls a face. It’s surely ghastly, considering the whole Ghost Powers thing and by Jeongin’s response. 

“Needed to know if I had to break out the sage,” he replies. 

The idea causes Jisung to break out in a full body shiver. He really regrets not being up to date with ghost things while he was still alive, but remembers the part of the handbook that talks about ghosts and herbs and the unfortunate combination of the two of them. 

“Bathroom, when I say,” Jeongin reiterates in a whisper. He rejoins the conversation like he hasn’t been speaking to himself in the corner for the past few minutes. 

Jisung, so used to being unheard, does manage to make him laugh with his input. 

He decides he likes these friends. 

Even if they’re not fond of his vibes. 

\------- 

“So,” Jeongin takes a seat on the tiny bathroom sink, gesturing up and down at Jisung’s, well, everything. “What’s your deal?” 

“Fell down the stairs,” Jisung mutters. “A few months ago, I think.” 

“You’re far nicer than the other ghosts I’ve met,” Jeongin responds simply. He reaches out a hand to shake. They’re friends now. 

Jisung answers his questions honestly, because he’s got nothing left to lose. 

He just hangs about, here and there, snooping on their love lives. Jeongin snickers at that comment, before motioning for him to continue. Jisung taps out when conversations get too personal and will only go into their rooms when the door is open and unlocked. 

“Learnt that one the hard way,” he shudders. He watches his form in the mirror turn blue and wiggle. Ghost Powers are fun. 

“Do I wanna know?” Jeongin asks. He looks like he already knows the answer. 

“Let’s just say there are some things you want to know about your friends and their favourite camboy isn’t one of them,” Jisung makes sure his tone of voice is as empty as he feels. “Especially when that camboy looks a little bit like Felix.” 

Jeongin grimaces, Jisung offers him a tight-lipped smile. 

“Gross,” he breathes. Before moving on. “So, what’s your plan, then?” 

Jisung snaps out of his repressed memory daze. 

“I am _so_ glad you asked…” 

\------ 

Chan and Felix are wonderful people who are wonderful friends and Jisung knows he would have adored them just as much if he met them while still alive. But sometimes, only sometimes, they are the most infuriating people Jisung has met in his entire life— and afterlife included. 

They’re _cuddling_ on the couch. 

Which is something that the Jisung of one month ago would have considered progress. There’s so much potential with cuddling, especially between two people who are so obviously in love. But it’s Felix and it’s Chan, the two most oblivious idiots to walk the earth. 

So instead of using that proximity to make out or something, they’re stressing instead. 

Jisung has to leave the room out of frustration. 

He’s tried everything to help them along: pushes them together, hoping it will cause A Moment™. It doesn’t, they just stutter and fly apart as if Jisung has pulled them instead. He writes _I love you_ onto the mirror after Chan finishes showering, hoping that Felix spots it and is spurred to confess. 

He doesn’t even look at it, and Jisung stomps his foot in anger as Felix doesn’t spare a glance at his note on the way in, or out of the bathroom, the fog from his own shower covering the message in the end. 

Jisung sighs, hits himself in the head a few times with his book out of frustration. 

He turns to the section about case mangers, and books an appointment. 

\------ 

It takes two weeks for the other side to get back to him, and even once he crosses over he’s in that waiting room for days. It’s a good thing Jisung is dead, otherwise, he would have died of boredom. He re-reads his book again and again for something to do, because he’s stuck in a room filled with strange looking people who don’t want to talk. 

He’s finally guided through winding hallways until the door to his case manager’s office appears. Kim Seungmin greets him into his pleasant office with a kind smile. The room is brightly lit by artificial sunshine, and there are flowers on his desk. He’s dressed in the cutest floral shirt that Jisung has ever seen, eclipsed only by the person who wears it. 

Jisung soon learns that he’s under the care of the worst case manager imaginable. The soft, unassuming office and appearance hiding his true form from the world. 

“No,” he replies sternly. The warm welcoming smile having long slipped from his face. “We cannot offer a relocation under the guise of your hauntees being, quote, _too fucking thick to realise they wanna bone_.” 

The pen taking notes of their meeting has eyes, and they judge Jisung accordingly. 

“C’mon man, I thought we were friends,” Jisung whines. Seungmin peers at him over the top of his glasses. 

“No.” 

“Could we be friends?” Jisung tries again. He’s a little desperate for conversation, because he can only talk to the brick walls of Chan and Felix’s unknowing profiles for so long without going mad. “I think we’d be great pals.” 

“If you can make it to your next appointment without issues, then I’ll consider it,” Seungmin nods to himself. The pen writing their meeting notes adds its own input of _it will never work out_. Jisung slumps in his seat. 

“How long until my next appointment?” He asks, meekly. He’s frustrated and tired and sometimes he wants some company that can at least hear him. Jisung, dead only six months and yet already losing hope. 

“Er, fifty years,” Seungmin shuffles with the paper on his desk in an attempt to look busy. Jisung slumps further and physically merges with the chair out of sadness. “But,” he says, glancing in Jisung’s pitiful direction. “You may call from time to time, if you’d like.”

The pen notes that Seungmin has a heart of gold.

“Oh, sweet!” Jisung and the chair separate with a pop, and he’s visibly excited by the news. “You got any numbers of ghost cuties I can call?” He wonders aloud, “like, I’m happy I don’t have to shower anymore, but I’ve still got _urges_ and the UST in my house is—”

“—Jisung?” 

“Yes?” 

“Get out.” 

Seungmin’s office disappears the moment a hand reaches out to flick at his forehead. 

Jisung lands with a thud next to his cuddling sorta-housemates, his Handbook following soon after. 

\------ 

The man at the front desk to the afterlife is a strange creature with a fish for a head. Jisung does not want to know how he came to take such a form, and any questions pertaining to it have been brushed off in Jisung’s dozens of visiting attempts. 

Felix and Chan continue to be insufferably oblivious, Jisung continues to be bored and Jeongin only comes over every now and again. He’s nice enough to leave books and things around for Jisung to entertain himself with, and whenever he stays over he’s up until dawn letting Jisung talk his ear off. 

But it’s not enough. 

Jisung would much rather haunt Jeongin instead, but both the afterlife and the boy in question have asked that he not, so he’s kinda stuck in his shitty situation with two, admittedly, very lovable dumbasses. 

“Look, kid,” says the Fishman, his weird, fishy lips flap in ways that make Jisung _very_ uncomfortable. “I know you’re Seungmin’s case, but I think I know someone that can help.” 

He’s in the middle of another whine about how bored and lonely he is when a pamphlet is shoved into his hand. The Miraculous Minho, it says. Jisung looks up at Fishman in question. 

“He’s usually supposed to help get rid of humans, but he should be able to work with your case as well.”

The pamphlet in Jisung’s hand informs him that this Minho dude can do anything and that he’s been employee of the month, 3249 months running. 

“He has new pamphlets printed every month,” Fishman informs him. He points to a wall behind him in the staff area where one man’s face decorates the entire surface. “And he’s started doing photoshoots.” 

Jisung squints, where he makes out a few themed pictures haphazardly taped to the wall alongside the rest of the normal ones. Minho is one of the most attractive people he’s ever seen, and among the funny pictures he’s changed with his Ghost Powers, there’s also one of him dressed in nothing but a toga. 

He’s so hot, the image will be haunting Jisung for the rest of his afterlife. 

“Thanks,” Jisung croaks. “I’ll, uh, give him a call?” 

“Just chant his little jingle, he’ll turn up,” the Fishman shrugs. “Now please, for the love of God, go home.” 

Jisung grumbles, dragging his feet as he ventures back into his apartment. He tucks the pamphlet into his handbook and collapses in the Jisung shaped space on the sofa with a sigh.

\------

Determined not to get help, especially not from someone so hot it could cause a problem, Jisung decides to orchestrate his biggest, most foolproof plan yet. He’s been practising his impressions of both Chan and Felix, mostly to Jeongin who finds it all hilarious. 

Actually, it’s Jeongin who gives him the idea in the first place, saying he sounds so much like Felix it takes him a few seconds to remember it’s not their (kinda) shared (kinda) friend talking. 

A sleepy Chan wakes up, wanders past the open door to Felix’s room and checks in on him, as is his usual tradition. He smiles softly as the love of his life (Chan’s words, not Jisung’s) sleeps soundly, unaware that he’s being watched with the world’s most obvious heart eyes. 

“Chan?” Jisung asks, using Felix’s voice. Chan stiffens, but then relaxes as he’s caught. 

“Felix?” 

It’s A Moment™, and Jisung only hopes it grows into something more substantial once Felix is awake. He plans to pretend to confess, have Chan reciprocate and have Felix think he said it in his sleep. 

It’s perfect, what drama scripts wish they had. But drama scripts don't have Jisung at the helm, while Chan and Felix do. 

“I love you,” he says simply. He flexes his best acting muscles, trying to make Felix sound both lovesick and sleepy at the same time. It helps that the real Felix has wonderful timing, sighing and rolling over in his sleep as Jisung finishes his line. 

Chan doesn’t respond, he just closes the door and continues on the way. 

Turns out there was one fatal flaw in Jisung’s plan: it doesn’t matter how good his impression is, because Chan can’t hear him anyway. 

\------

Jisung is not ashamed to admit to his temper tantrum. It rattles cabinets while Chan continues not to notice, with Felix remaining asleep through the noise. He stops his screaming, red faced and breathless when he remembers the pamphlet.

It wouldn’t hurt his pride asking for help, considering that he’s been asking Seungmin to help for months. It’s just that Minho is very attractive and Jisung is out of practice talking to normal people, let alone people he thinks are hot. 

He swallows his nervousness once Chan and Felix dance around each other in the kitchen, missing each other’s lovesick glances by mere seconds each time. Jisung has had enough, he needs help and he needs it now. 

It comes from the fact that he genuinely likes the people he’s haunting. They’re nice and even if they don’t know he’s there, he still feels included in their lives and conversations. Jisung thinks they deserve happiness, and with little else he can do for them, he’s taken it upon himself to help them along. 

“Fuck it,” Jisung says to himself, rummaging around in his Handbook for the pamphlet. He knows how to summon the guy, just can’t remember the exact jingle. “C’mon, where is it?” 

Jisung flicks through pages, forward and back, until something falls out at his feet. The pamphlet, adorned with a handsome man holding an adorable cat on the front. He drops the Handbook and scrambles for the slip of paper, trying to catch it before it falls to the floor. 

It doesn’t work. 

Despite being a ghost, his balance is still god-awful and he drops to the floor with a corporeal sounding thud. His fingers close around the pamphlet, and he manages to groan out the phrase printed nearly on the second page. 

“I know, you know, we know, Lee Know?” Jisung questions, cringing. “What kinda catchphrase is that.” 

“Mine,” comes an amused sounding voice from behind him. It’s a nice sounding voice. Jisung turns around and promptly screams. 

Minho has appeared in nothing but a towel, loofah in one hand and a rubber ducky in another. A shower cap on his head completes the rather old, stereotypical showering imagery. Jisung screws his eyes shut before screaming out an apology. 

There’s the vague, magical sound of Ghost Powers being used, and Jisung chances a look at the other ghost, utterly thrilled to find he’s now clothed. He is still, however, mortified that he screamed and curled up on the ground at the sight of him. 

Jisung really shouldn’t be allowed to talk to people he finds attractive. 

“What seems to be the problem?” Minho says, wandering around the kitchen inquisitively. He inspects each surface with interest, pausing to jab a finger at the polaroids of Chan and Felix attached to the fridge. “Cute couple, want them gone?” 

“No, that’s the problem,” Jisung struggles to his feet, meeting Minho at the fridge. He gestures to all the cute, couple-y pictures with a sigh. “They’re not a couple, and I’d kinda like them to stay.” 

Minho raises an eyebrow. “That’s a new one,” he says after a moment. He squints, inspecting the picture of Felix kissing a very red looking Chan on the cheek. “You completely sure on both of those?” 

“Completely,” Jisung nods so aggressively that his head falls off. He puts it on backwards, shaking until it decides to right itself. He’s a little dizzy, either from the movement or the presence of someone so attractive. “They’re great, they just need to fuck it out of their system before I go insane.” 

Jisung’s eyes widen in shock, and he clamps a hand over his mouth. Minho, thankfully, laughs. It’s a wonderful sound. 

“Where are the lovebirds, now?” Minho asks, peeking out through the kitchen doorway and into the rest of the house. 

“Weekly Bro Brunch Date,” Jisung replies, weakly. Minho’s side profile is as nice as his front one. It really _has_ been a long time, if Jisung is acting like a lovesick fool within minutes of meeting him. 

“That is disgustingly sweet,” Minho gags. He looks at the C&F wooden blocks on top of their mantle and fakes a dry heave. “You’re super sure they’re not dating?” 

Minho’s thumb jerks in the direction of their newlywed-esque decorations. Jisung sighs and nods. “Yep, they’re just friends.” 

“This is not friend behaviour.” 

“You’re telling me, I’ve been the one living with them the past six months,” Jisung collapses back onto the sofa. “Way to make a dude feel single.” 

“If it's any consolation, I haven’t dated in a while either,” Minho joins him on the couch, sitting with manners as a guest should, and rather unlike Jisung. “It’s been years.” 

“Man, if someone like you can’t get a date in the afterlife, what chance do I have?” he scratches at his cheek, absentmindedly. “Guess I’ll just have to live vicariously through my kinda-housemates.” 

“When we’re done here, I’m taking you out for a drink,” Minho pats his shoulder, reassuringly. “You’ll find a cute ghost, somewhere, I promise.” 

He smiles, kind and reassuring. 

Jisung has to forcibly zip his own lips to stop himself replying. 

As far as he’s concerned, he’s already met the cutest ghost there is. 

\------ 

Jeongin is coming over again. Jisung is more than excited and patiently stands by the door with Minho, awaiting their arrival. Chan and Felix are flirting unbearably in the kitchen, and even the good, solid shove Minho sends Chan’s way doesn’t do anything to make progress. 

So they wait for Jeongin, who has no way of contacting Jisung, to see if he has any ideas. No one locks the door until everyone has arrived, so all of Felix and Chan’s friends tend to just barge in unannounced. 

What they’re expecting is Jeongin, what they get is Hyunjin. 

“Oh, it's you,” he says, nodding in Jisung’s direction. “And you brought a friend?” 

“You can see me?” Jisung hisses. Minho watches on in confusion as he starts to realise that it’s not Jeongin they’re speaking with. “You never said anything before?” 

Jisung is borderline hysterical. 

“Yeah, I tend to just ignore ghosts,” he shrugs, making his way into the apartment. “But Jeongin told me you’re cool, so I figured I’d say hi this time.” He pauses, looks Minho up and down. “He didn’t tell me about you, though.” 

“Friend of a friend, helping out with a problem,” Minho offers his hand before introducing himself as a Bio-Matchmaker. It’s not what his pamphlet said, but his pamphlet also said he can do anything, so Jisung doesn’t bring it up. “For hauntee’s that require a bit of help with their love lives.” 

“Those two?” Hyunjin laughs out loud. “They need more than help, I’m telling you now.” 

“I’m aware,” Minho stares off into the distance, where the sounds of Chan and Felix’s giggles can be heard. “I can understand why Jisung needs my expertise.”

“Well, good luck with that,” Hyunjin attempts to pat Jisung on the back but his hand passes straight through. “I’ve been trying to get them together for _years_ and they’re stubborn as all hell.” 

Hyunjin leaves them behind without a word, which is incredibly rude of him. But he does sit with Jisung at midnight helping formulate a plot, one which will undoubtedly work without fail. 

...Hopefully.

\------

“They are the two stupidest humans to ever exist, and I’m saying that with someone who has decades of experience dealing with stupid humans,” Minho walks back into the lounge room, dripping wet and shaking his hair. 

His idea was to instigate a sexy water fight as the two did the dishes, evidently, things did not go exactly as planned. 

“If this causes me to lose my employee of the month status then I will kill them,” Minho mutters. He Ghost Powers most of the wetness away, but parts of his hair are still a little damp. “Then I will exorcise them, which is like death to ghosts.” 

Jisung finds it funny with all the haunting that Minho has done, he’s yet to see an exorcism. When mentioned, he’s told it’s because very few humans actually know how to do it properly. 

“I always finish a job,” Minho finishes with. “No human can stop me from doing that.” 

“So you’re still on board with my plan?” Jisung asks, hopefully. He understands if Minho wants to leave. He’d leave himself if he weren’t somehow tethered to a spot in the kitchen. Jisung once tried to follow Felix out of the house one day and ended up in a desert, being chased by a stripy sandworm. 

Not the best day of Jisung’s afterlife. 

“And let Seungmin take my employee of the month? No fucking way.”

“Seungmin is my case manager,” Jisung raises his hand. “Does that make this situation worse or better?” 

“Both,” Minho audibly exhales, collapsing onto the sofa beside Jisung. No longer a guest, he’s started acting casual and right at home. It’s nice, almost like they’re roommates themselves, sharing a space with two other friends. “I leave then he absolutely wins, I stay I can take victory from him again.” 

“So you’re staying?” 

“Oh, you bet.” 

Felix and Chan wander into the lounge, absorbed in each other’s presence and sitting directly on top of the two ghosts. Strange, considering they usually sit on opposite sides of the couch, but today they’ve managed to open themselves up for another moment of otherworldly interference. 

Minho sticks his head out of Chan’s neck as he leans over to whisper, “Hey, you down for some shenanigans?” right into Jisung’s ear. 

“My good man,” Jisung whispers back. He doesn’t know why he’s whispering, because Chan and Felix never hear him anyway. “I am always down for some shenanigans.” 

Through some sort of miracle, or Minho’s weird ability to force people to do whatever he wants, Chan suggests a horror movie. Judging by the wink Minho sends in Jisung’s direction, it was most likely the latter. 

Felix agrees, and within the first few minutes of some jumpscare laden, ironically supernaturally themed horror movie, the two humans are all but huddled together at the centre of the couch. They turn to each other at the same moment, faces close. 

Minho and Jisung lean in excitedly. 

“C’mon,” Jisung whispers. Minho pushes the back of Chan’s head, gently. It doesn’t press their lips together, but it has them close enough to think about it. 

And they’re absolutely thinking about it. 

Felix gasps, Chan licks his lips. 

Jisung is biting at his nails in anticipation. 

They move together, slowly… just about to—

—a character on screen screams loudly, breaking the moment and the tension it created. Felix laughs nervously, and Chan sits back against the couch with a small, embarrassed cough. 

Jisung watches as Felix retells the story to Hyunjin on his phone when Chan isn’t looking. He’s excited, hopeful and most importantly, he’s paying attention. 

Minho and Jisung share identical smiles, high fiving over the oblivious human’s heads. 

\------ 

Jisung spends the morning watching the TV that Chan leaves on for background noise. He’s almost overjoyed with the start of what seems like progress. It means that Jisung can finally reach his goal and spend the rest of his afterlife in peace. It means that Minho can finally leave. 

Which, admittedly, isn’t something Jisung is really looking forward to. Minho has been nothing but pleasant company and a good time since he arrived, and Jisung is feeling far less lonely now that he’s here. 

He’s wanting it all to be over because there’s that promised drink he’s been waiting for, some time spent in a strange afterlife bar and outside of the house, somewhere he can spend time with Minho without it being confined to the walls of his old apartment. 

“I’m retracting my high five,” Minho says. He picks up the remote and changes the show to something more his taste. Jisung yells in protest, having become enthralled in the family drama-slash-ghost story show that Chan has been watching. 

“Why are you retracting our high five,” Jisung’s hand gets caught in Minho’s grasp and he watches in horror as Minho does, in fact, take the high five back. He presses their palms together for a moment, before drawing away. 

“Because dumb and dumber aren’t talking,” he whines. 

Jisung has been wondering why Chan’s background noise of choice has been a Netflix series instead of Felix’s usual chatter. Jisung just assumed it was because Chan’s found an ironic interest in ghosts, despite the two that live in his lounge room. 

Now that he thinks about it, the house has been unusually quiet all morning. Chan and Felix are barely looking at each other, the events of the previous night obviously replaying in their heads, the situation being sowed with seeds of doubt and worry. 

“We gotta fix this,” Jisung says, preparing himself for a solid day of haunting. 

Mostly it’s pushing Chan and Felix into the same room, slamming doors behind them and hoping for the best. It’s all they can think of at this point, each and every idea they’ve had before going down in flames.

Their newest plan goes about as well as the rest of them.

Minho has the genius idea to lock Felix’s bedroom door from the inside, with the ghosts putting as much weight as possible between Felix and his room. Jisung has no idea how Minho manages to fit an elephant in the room with them, but he does. 

“I thought it was fitting imagery,” Minho comments. Jisung groans in disappointment when he peeks his head through the hallway wall and notices Felix’s retracting back heading towards the couch and _not_ into Chan’s room as expected. “I wish they could have seen it.” 

“I saw it,” Jisung’s head snaps back into the room with a pop. “It was very funny of you, I promise I laughed.” 

Jisung may be laying it on a little thick, but that’s okay, he’s trying to. 

“And that’s all that matters,” Minho falls back onto Felix’s bed, making himself at home. “Your amusement is what I’m going for, here.” 

“Sarcasm?” 

Minho tilts his head to the side, eyeing Jisung curiously. “Not at all.” 

Jisung isn’t quite sure how to take his comments, but he can’t stop the racing feeling where his heart used to be. 

“Making a cute ghost smile?” Minho continues. Jisung freezes, mouthing the word _cute_ to himself as he absentmindedly joins Minho on the bed. “That’s the most rewarding part of my job.” 

“You, uh, make cute ghosts smile, often, then?” Jisung asks, realises what he’s implying, proceeds to scramble. “I don’t mean it in a bad way or anything, it’s just you said you hadn’t had a date in a while—” 

Minho cuts him off with a laugh. “You’re the cutest ghost I’ve made smile in a long time,” he says. Jisung knows that if he had blood, he’d be blushing. “Despite everything, this is a pretty fun job, you know?” 

“In general, or because I’m here?” Jisung asks. He promptly zips his lips using his Ghost Powers, pulling them shut before he can say anything more embarrassing. 

Minho laughs.

“Now, what do you think?” There’s a glimmer in his eye when he speaks. It draws Jisung in, he can’t bear to look away for even a moment. 

“It’s less of a thought and more than an honest hope,” Jisung replies, truthfully. It’s as if the glimmer won’t let him lie. “That it’s me, I mean.” He swallows. Minho smiles. “I hope that it’s because of me.” 

Minho takes his hand, entwining their fingers. “Wanna scare Chan with me?” 

“I would be honoured.”

\-------

In the middle of the awkward tension, Chan begins to pack his things. Minho freaks out until Jisung remembers Chan mentioning something about a work trip, apparently needed in a different city for a few days for product training, or something of the sort. 

“What does he even do?” 

Jisung shrugs. He’s never actually been able to talk to his kinda-housemates, and the context clues he’s been given aren’t much of a help. Chan manages people who sell things, and he’s going off to training for a new product launch. 

Exactly what is launching remains a question. 

It leaves Felix, who apparently has no products to launch at work, alone in the house. 

Which means that Jisung and Minho really have nothing to do while Chan is gone. 

The house is empty and boring, filled with a silence that Jisung tries to break on his own. He chatters away to Felix, not about Chan or anything in particular, just trying to make noise that could potentially cheer up the forlorn and lonely human. 

Minho applauds his efforts, but has to remind Jisung that Felix just can’t and won’t see them, not until he starts paying attention to his surroundings. 

Jeongin comes as a human presence to help cheer Felix up, a message sent to their chat off Felix’s phone and due to Minho’s meddling. It’s not his place to care about their hauntee’s wellbeing outside of his job, but he’s come to care for both Felix and Chan, Jisung is sure of it. 

So has Jisung. Which is why the smile on Felix’s face when Jeongin makes a surprise visit is almost blinding, filling Jisung with so many _I love my friends_ feelings, he’s probably glowing, too. 

He’s probably a little too enthusiastic about it, because he runs up to Jeongin, picks him up and spins him around. He’s a lot stronger as a ghost, so the lift is easy, and Jeongin hovers off the ground as Jisung exclaims in joy. 

“Jisung!” Jeongin giggles, “put me down!” 

“I missed you!” 

The crashing sound of ceramic hitting tiles is what brings Felix back to attention. He stands at the edge of the kitchen, wide eyes and shaking hands. To him, it must look like Jeongin is hovering in mid-air. 

“What the fuck,” he mutters, rubbing at his eyes. Jisung finally listens to reason and places Jeongin’s feet back onto the floor. “You were… what the fuck was that?” 

“I…” Jeongin trails off. “You know how I can see ghosts?” 

Felix turns white. 

He immediately screams.

\------ 

“Haunted!?” Felix paces up and down the hallway, mid freak out. He’s starting to see Jisung and Minho now that he knows they’re there, small outlines making way into human forms the more he looks.  
He’s been encouraged to look, now, by Jeongin. Who assures that Jisung is cool and his friend Minho has been nothing but a lovely house guest. 

“They’ve been having little ghost sleepovers in my house?” Felix cries, pointing to Jisung, who assumes he’s taking more of a corporeal form each time he’s perceived. The concept is terrifying. “Who asked me, huh?” 

“In their defence, you weren’t exactly listening when they asked,” Jeongin points out. Jisung is happy to have a voice of reason on the other side, because he really just wants to cohabit in peace at this point. 

Felix sighs. He sinks to the ground and stares at Jisung and Minho intently, eyes widening as he starts to fully take them in, see them for who they really are. Jisung nudges Minho with his elbow, making sure he looks normal and not ghastly when the reveal finally happens. 

“Not the time,” Jisung hisses. 

“Sorry,” Minho puts his eyeballs back into his head. “Force of habit.” 

Breathing deeply, Felix looks Jisung and Minho from head to toe, eventually taking it all in. He’s freaking out and yet calmer than Jisung would have been in his situation. Then again, Jisung didn’t have someone like Jeongin to introduce him to a ghost, not when he was alive. 

“What’s your deal, then?” Felix asks, reaching out a hand to shake. Jisung takes it with enthusiasm. “Why are you here?”

“Cuz I have to be,” Jisung shrugs, explaining his predicament. Felix listens intently, laughing at the appropriate times and agreeing with Jisung that their landlord is a piece of shit.

“Thanks for letting us live here,” he eventually interjects. Jisung feels like he can finally call them friends. “When Chan gets back we’ll have to sort something out.”

“When Chan gets back we’ll have to do a lot of things,” Minho mutters. Jisung giggles. Felix watches them, amused. 

“Is he your ghost boyfriend?” He asks. This time, it’s Jisung who shrieks. 

“Ghost helper,” he scrambles, hiding behind Minho. “I’ll find the pamphlet for you. He’s a helpful ghost helping me with a problem.” 

Minho grins and offers a thumbs up. Jeongin mutters something about stupidity following people to the afterlife. 

“And what’s your problem, then?” 

There it is, the opening Jisung has been waiting for, the chance he’s spent months begging to have. 

“Chan loves you, too,” he says. 

The panic Felix has done so well getting rid of returns.

For the second time, he screams.

\------ 

Felix practically floats around the house come the following days. He dances in the kitchen, humming to love songs and filling the house with lovesick sighs each time Chan sends him a message. 

It’s almost unbearable. 

Jisung is happy for him. 

“This is worse than before,” Minho says. He reclines on the kitchen table, looking incredible as always. Jisung kinda knows how Felix feels, because he’s suddenly overwhelmed with the urge to paint a portrait of Minho’s form, despite not knowing how. 

“They’re cute,” Jisung swats at him. Minho swats back, playfully and with a smile. “Also our plan is working, you can’t be mad at that.” 

“I suppose not,” Minho sighs. Somewhere in the house, Felix giggles. “But it’s taking a toll on my single ass, so I’m gonna go stand on the balcony and scream for a bit.” 

He fades from his tabletop perch with a wiggle of his fingers. 

Jisung stares longingly after him. 

“He’s so _hot_.”

Felix has, to Jisung’s great joy, quickly become a friend. He'd always thought they’d get along well, and they’re now proving the Jisung of the past to be right in his assumptions. Minho is trying to stay aloof as an outsider, but he, too, is growing attached. Jisung can tell.

“What has Chan done now?” 

Instead of getting his updates over an unknowing Felix’s shoulder, Jisung has started to get his knowledge of Chan’s cute messages straight from the source. It’s cute, the way Felix now has someone to gush with in person. 

Jisung is happy he’ll have someone to talk to once Minho decides to leave. 

“I mean, that too,” Felix giggles. He gestures towards where Minho is brooding on the balcony, screaming into a paper bag. “But I meant him.” 

“You have a man,” Jisung replies, scandalised. “You’re in all sorts of monogamous love with that man.” 

“I don’t know, Minho is pretty cute…” Felix trails off. He laughs outright at Jisung’s offended expression. “Relax, I’m trying to talk about _you_ here.” 

“Me?” 

“You’re not into Minho?” Felix gives him a look that says he already knows the answer. Funny how Felix is so perceptive to Jisung’s feelings, despite being so terribly oblivious to everything else. 

It means that Jisung’s little crush is more obvious than Chan’s, which is more terrifying than anything the afterlife can throw at him. 

“Of course I’m into Minho,” Jisung says. The sentence has barely left his mouth before there’s a pop, and Minho appears at the kitchen table next to him. He’s screamed away his frustrations and is back, ready to wrap an arm around Jisung’s shoulders. 

“What were you guys talking about?” he asks. 

“Chan sent me a picture of the cutest dog,” Felix gushes, not even faltering. He pulls his phone out of his pocket and proceeds to show the photo to the ghosts. 

Minho fakes a gag. 

\------ 

Jisung has never felt like such a voyeur. Chan comes home from his trip and gets an armful of Felix as a reward, a whispered confession and a rather passionate kiss right on the mouth for his troubles. 

Minho cheers them on, with Jisung elbowing him in the ribs because _hey asshole, Felix can hear us now_. The noise is enough to interrupt the two humans and their hands that are already starting to wander. 

It’s a good thing, because Jisung’s halfway through making his ears disappear completely and trying to think of places to hide. He’s happy for them, really. He just really doesn’t want to experience the consummation of a relationship so many years in the making. 

Felix pulls away with a smile. “I’ve got some people I think you need to meet,” he says. Chan looks around, confused, before Minho is levitating Felix in the air. 

Chan nearly passes out. 

Once he calms down from the freak out they’re used to, the betrayal of their friends who knew already and the deep shame of what they’ve made the ghosts of the house experience, Chan comes around. 

He’s like Felix in that regard, once the shock settles he’s incredibly welcoming, shyly asking if Jisung would like his old room back because he’s got every intention of sharing one with a red faced, but otherwise very pleased Felix. 

“You seem cool,” Chan says later. “And we can’t exactly kick you out or anything.” 

“You can, though,” Minho replies. “There are herbs for that.” 

“Please don’t herb me into the realm of exorcized spirits,” Jisung shivers. Fishman has shown him the room before and it doesn’t look like the most fun place to spend eternity. “I will do your dishes for the rest of your life if you want.”

“We can work out a schedule,” Chan smiles. He’s a nice dude with a cute dimple. Suddenly Jisung understands why Felix is so smitten. 

“And I’ll take that as my cue to leave,” Minho says. He stands up from the couch, saying his goodbyes. He doesn’t promise regular visits, but says to Felix that he might try and pop in from time to time. “It’s hard being this popular,” he says. 

Jisung’s high of making friends and a successful matchmaking attempt turns into an impossible low after the news of Minho’s inevitable departure. Felix whispers something to Chan, before dragging him out of the room with a wink, leaving the two ghosts alone. 

“Well,” Jisung says. He’s not sure if he’s supposed to go in for a hug, or just rip the Band-Aid off and not prolong the inevitable. “It’s been real, Minho.” 

“And it’s been really fun helping you out,” Minho assures him. He takes Jisung’s hands in his own, standing together in the middle of the living room. It feels like A Moment™, and Jisung has learnt that maybe it’s best not to let those pass him by. 

“I still need help with something,” he says. Jisung drops Minho’s hands, steps closer, runs his finger’s along Minho’s chest. “If you could help me with that, first?” 

A hum, and Minho wraps his arms around Jisung’s waist. “What do you need, this time?” 

“I met this really cute ghost,” Jisung starts, “the cutest ghost in the afterlife.” Minho laughs, breathless. His hands tighten on Jisung’s hips. “I was wondering if you could help me score a date with him sometime?” 

“It’s not Seungmin, is it?” Minho asks. Jisung, so absorbed with their proximity, with Minho’s presence, takes a second to register what he’s saying. 

“No, oh my God, it’s not my case manager,” Jisung says with a groan. He rests his head on Minho’s shoulder, mumbling into his neck. “It’s you, and I’m desperately hoping you’d like that, too.” 

Minho answers him with a kiss. 

Jisung may have died young. 

But he’s got the best afterlife a ghost could ever ask for. 

\------ 

Minho is amazing in his element. 

A Bio-Exorcist whose job it is to scare and terrify, it’s a joy to watch him work. Jisung, too, has started picking up his tips and tricks, having come along for the ride on a job or two here or there. 

Okay most jobs. 

Nearly all of them. 

They’re partners, somewhat. Haunting each other instead of houses, a request pushed through the red tape of paperwork because of Minho’s consistent Employee of the Month status for so many years. 

They still have a home to come back to every now and again, a spare bedroom at a house with two friends who just so happen to be very much in love. Jisung does the dishes whenever he can, and they’re always invited to the monthly horror movie nights. 

Purely for the vibes. 

Because while Jisung would argue that their vibes are incredible, they’ve got the potential to turn things nasty. For the aesthetic, to up the spooks of whatever shitty ghost movie plays on Felix and Chan’s flat screen. 

Minho pops out of the shadows as the monster that chases the protagonists on screen, while Felix and Chan scream loud enough for the rest of the building to hear. 

Jisung sits in his corner snickering, before slamming a door closed for the added effect. 

The humans never last long when Minho is in his element, with Chan and Felix being no exception. They thank him for the scare, before running off to their room for the rest of the night.  
That’s one wall Jisung won’t be phasing through anytime soon. 

But it’s okay. 

Minho appears in Chan’s old spot, looking like himself again. He pats the space next to him with a smile on his face. There’s a bad horror movie playing on the abandoned screen and plenty of room on the couch. Jisung hopes he can spend the rest of his afterlife in the same way— with good friends, some good scares and most importantly, with a boyfriend that will cuddle with him after it’s all over and done with.

**Author's Note:**

> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/texaschansaws)


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